A dark Place

You plan your life out
you live your life to the standards you feel are right
you take on everyones advise and filter it
you decide what you think is best and walk down the road you feel is right
then like a kick in the chest the road beneath you falls away
you can still see where you were aiming
there is no way you can make it there
Life must Change but before you get to that realiseation
you have cried on a daily basis
you have screamed at God on hilltops
you have lost all self worth
you have lost you drive to live.
You have watched you veins pulse
you have driven a syringe of a deadly concoction into your forearm
you have faced death without fear and begged for it to come
you know only a few short moments of vomit and seizure will be the last pain you could ever feel

Then God steps in a smacks you in the lip
"learn the lesson you fool
i don't plan for your destruction i have something better for you"
You don't believe it
How can there be any light
That is the beauty of Faith You can only see darkness
you can only feel worthless
you can only hand it over to God and trust he will build you up again.

I am worth something
I am Gods child
I am a good person
I do not come up short
I am worth my weight in gold
I am a gift to this world
I am the way i am because God made me this way
I will achieve greatness
I will be happy again
There is someone out there who will love me for me
There is someone God has chosen for me.

How much do i believe this.
I'm still working on it

Age is No Barrier

Twenty plus people jammed into the sheering quarters for more then a week and you are bound to get all sorts of rubbish going on. People farting in confined spaces, inappropriate comments and of course walking in on someone of the opposite sex is bound to happen. The South Australia trip was no different, people saw and said things they probably should not have, and all the while we laugh and giggle and just get on with what has to be done.
I stopped for a moment and cast my thoughts back to one particular incident on the farm involving a Young teenager in our church community and a young woman who is relatively new to our Church community. Dylan a fourteen year old boy happens to walk in on Bree in the shower. Any other combination of people involved in this innocent accident could have resuled in shame full and embarrassed people feeling awkward for the rest of the week.
Care free Bree is not even slightly bothered by the incident and laughs it off. You would think this would have been to Dylan's relief but again another person who lives life by the whatever goes, goes motto.
The rest of the team laugh and joke about the incident around the camp fire that night and both parties get involved in the joke recounting their own humours rendition of the event.
Dylan just fourteen years old is easily mistaken for a young adult and handles the whole thing better then some adults would. Sometimes I wish I was more like Dylan, I can already see the Warrior for Christ he is becoming and at just fourteen I can see this guy will change the world. I am proud to say that I am part of this kids life and can't wait to see the awesome things that will come from him.
The image shows Dylan (on the right) with Chris (a 19 year old Cube member) in on a hysterical joke out on the farm.

South Australia Madness

I have become a little slack with this blog recently. Moving house and heading back to work have become distractions but not nearly as big of a distraction as the work I am doing with the Cube. Whilst this Blog has remained untouched the Cube blog is on fire so if you wish to keep up with some of what I am doing visit the Cube Blog.

So now I'm blogging about South Australia just days before I duck off on the Kidney Kar Rally. Not to worry it will all come it will just be a little late.

Upon returning from Make Poverty History I had ample opportunity to sit down, unwind and gather my thoughts, way up the pros and cons and just get back to normal life. The trip to South Australia was completely different. I hit the Ground running, I returned home unshaven and smelly to find that in a few short weeks I was out of a place to live. Not a huge drama just a massive change to my plans for the rest of the year. So it was house hunting, bond paying and ultimately back to work for me. This hopefully will not stop my travels however in recent weeks I have come to the realisation that this blog is not so much about my travels as it is about the journey I am going on with the Cube guys.

So the South Australia trip. This was a particularly negative experience for me in some ways and in other ways it was fantastic. I struggled with this trip and I believe the issues with it were my family members. My old man was head goon on this trip and I have very different leadership skills and methods to him. Whilst both works, I believe my fathers care free she'll be right mate approach is far to stressful. Coupled with some relationship conflicts I had with some of the Cube guys and my sister. All of which become magnified when sharing confined quarters. So avoiding staying on the negatives what was the highlight of this trip.

I have many experiences from the land and the way of life that i will blog about in weeks to come. But my number one highlight was the relationships i developed with some of the younger crew on the trip. A relatively small team comprising of mostly Cube members (over 18 years old) however there were a few of the high school aged guys from Neon on the trip too. These guys are rapidly approaching Cube age and when they get there I am pleased to say that I have already got strong Friendships with many of them.

One such relationship that thrived on this trip and the direct effects of that have been seen since is Sara. Sara is seventeen (although her height does not show it) hanging out with her mainly due to her trying to avoid a few who she was not so comfortable with, meant i got to know her well. She has no issues playing the rough boy games and had no issues with the blood and gore that comes with farm life nor with many of the unsavoury tasks we had to carry out. She opened up over the week about issues in her life and since returning we have become good friends. although she continues to hide my pillow when ever she visits and fling confectionery around my house.

Summery of the trip to South Aus