And the Second is like it.

Growing up in Christian Circles you will know what the tittle is in relation too. The second commandment "love you neighbour as yourself" the fist of course is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart all your mind and all your soul" Countless sermons have focused on the first and how difficult we as simple mankind struggle to keep the first. Whilst i never claim to be perfect at executing the first recent times have shown that the second is in fact the more difficult to obey.
Still only a Child in my walk with God i still feel i am somewhat of a veteran when it comes to the raging battle for Christ, in the early days loving your neighbour seems so easy and at the surface level still is for me. Every day i give up my seat on the bus for the Pregnant lady who gets on, countless breakdowns, house moving and late night jump starts fill my weeks. I have a heart for people and feel the calling to head out into the world and show the world Christs love. However after years on the battlefield, following the call of Christ and ample weeks and dollars out on the mission field now my Shield is riddled with the fiery darts of the enemy as my knees are kicked in from behind me by those who i believed would unconditionally support me.
Time and time again I executed Patience, compassion and outright love with those closest to me. They came to me for advise and outright ignored it, they refused to acknowledge the weaknesses they face and justify those weaknesses amongst themselves, they wallow in a repulsive lifestyles and tell themselves they are good people for it. "life is about you and what you can get from it" they dont worry about who gets hurt, dont think of the consequences of actions and good honest people of this world get wounded as a direct result of that behaviour yet they care not.
These people are the mission field they are the ones that are so desperately looking for something in their lives, lieing to themselves telling themselves thay are happy. But how long must i battle for them, to change their lives you make yourself venerable you open yourself up to be hurt and rejected and the trouble with the crappy human race is they will pounce on that and rip you to shreds.

Im covered in scars from the battle, my armour lays scattered across the bloodstained sand of the battle field, my flesh exposed and wounded, i have seen no fruit and all i hear is the calling to pick the amour back up and keep fighting for them. Why? to what end? How do i keep fighting? How do i love my neighbour who so quickly turns and attacks me in spite of my love.