Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.
C. S. Lewis

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Whilst back at Camp



Whilst back at my metaphorical camp i have found that many of the other warriors in this army are still here with me. They saw me fall and came to my rescue, they have dragged me back to camp and collected my amour on the way back. Now as a team we are rebuilding me. I have now realised a few vital things with this group. The first is that i was battling at my limit. I listened to sermon this morning about not operating at our capacity rather then our limit. I feel there is so much in this world i can do something about, everything from extreme poverty and human trafficking through to fundraising for cancer research and Kidney Health but I took on too much in recent times. I exhausted all of my resources and when a disaster hit with the work i was doing with the Cube i was already working at my limit and had no room to budge so i just collapsed. When I'm ready to head back into the battle field i will pick one thing and pursue just the one thing.
The other realisation i have come too is that whilst i am wounded in this battle i am not the only one. My loyal Christian friends have stuck by me through thick and thin and helped me through this hard time but looking at them and the journey they have walked they also need me.
I look at those who have lifted me up, given me advise and carried me on this path when i could not walk this journey. All of them men and women of Faith, unconditional love for me and i would not swap my team of support for any other. People who i just arrive at their house unannounced and am always welcome people who i can just hang out with, watch the football with and talk through my issues with. They are an amazing team that surround me and i am now stuck with a hard call.
I have no passion left for the Cube. Whilst i felt called to do that at one point i don't any more i feel i have done as much as i can there and my energy needs to be focused somewhere else so it's time to work a few things out. Firstly am i ready yet and if so what one mission do i pursue.

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