Satan, What a Bastard

Where to start with this post…. Who knows? I spent a good chunk of the weekend and early week feeling fairly ordinary. I battled hard on Sunday against the irrational thoughts of dread that came my way just before getting to The Cube. I then had a hard time early week questioning these travels and my efforts to get involved in them. I felt I had not done my campaign any form of justice and was just wasting everyone’s time. Was I just after an extended holiday? or was I genuine about traveling and helping people where ever I was? How serious was I about following God? And had he actually called me to do this or was I deluded and enjoying not working too much to see the truth?

I feel that I am back on track today and have learnt a few things from feeling crappy early this week. As I said yesterday I sorted out trip three even though this will be another personal trip to catch up with old friends.
This was followed by several hours working on the Cube website. To some that sounds like boring tedious work, which it can be however the website could well become a valuable tool in changing the lives of the young people who use it. Check it out Here
I walked away from the best part of four hours of work feeling like I had done something for the good of those who use it and that’s what my travels are all about. In addition the Cube is a group of people I love and I am desperately passionate about that mission.


I received a phone call this morning informing me I was one of one thousand people chosen to participate in the Make Poverty History campaign. I now have three weeks of training before the road trip and then a seven day road trip which lands me in Canberra where there will be a Summit in which I am to be involved. To be perfectly honest some of this is new to me and a little intimidating but well worth the risk.
The first thing that came to my mind when I got that phone call was “Shit how am I going to pay for this?” Typical of me and my stupid stresses I was selected as one of a hand full and I’m worried about $350. It is now apparent I need to work on this area of my life.


On top of that I am really struggling to trust that God will provide the income I need. Granted I am still working a few odd jobs here and there to cover rent but stress is something that has followed me my whole life and I wish I could rid myself of it. I have no reason not to believe God will not provide for me but its so hard for me not to stress it.

All in all I think I am defiantly on the right track God still has ultimate control and it does not matter if I dropped the ball because I was never holding it in the first place. No mater where I seem to drift off to God puts me back on path straight away.